The Negativity Tornado: How to Avoid Getting Sucked In

This article is part of “pulling back the coaching curtain.” I share different perspectives and lessons learned with my clients from our coaching work together.

This topic arises so often – the negative mindset spin – that I’ve given it a name my clients have come to know. The Negativity Tornado! An apt metaphor, and visual, for when we allow our negative thoughts to spiral out of control.

We’ve all been there. One small negative thought sneaks in—maybe your boss gives you vague feedback like, “Let’s touch base later.” Instantly, your mind races: What does that mean? Am I getting fired? Did they finally find out about the time I accidentally hit ‘Reply All’ on that snarky email? Before you know it, your brain is spiraling faster than a tornado in Kansas, sucking up every insecurity, past mistake, and bad decision in its path. Congratulations, you’ve entered the Negativity Tornado—a mental vortex of doom where everything is terrible, the world is out to get you, and your only destiny is utter failure.

How the Negativity Tornado Forms

Negativity tornadoes don’t just pop up out of nowhere. They have triggers—little instigators that plant the first seed of doubt and let it fester. Here are a few common culprits:

Stress Overload – When your to-do list looks more like a novel, it’s easy for one setback to send you into despair.
Comparison Syndrome – Scrolling through social media, you see Chad from high school has a yacht and a perfect family, while you’re just proud you remembered to take the trash out. I find myself guilty of this from time to time. It’s a tough one.
Unexpected Challenges – Car breaks down, coffee spills on your white shirt, you step on a Lego barefoot—all before 9 a.m. Or you wake up to a text from a frustrated and confused parent with dementia. Maybe this one is just me these days. The unexpected in the AM often requires a hard reset on the day before it even begins.
Rejection – Whether it’s a job, a date, or your dog refusing to cuddle, rejection stings and can launch you into a spiral of self-doubt.
Lack of Sleep & Self-Care – When you’re running on fumes and haven’t seen a vegetable in weeks, even minor inconveniences at home or in the workplace, can feel like world-ending catastrophes.

The Downward Spiral: A Step-by-Step Guide to Ruining Your Own Mood

One Negative Thought Appears – “Ugh, I messed up that report.”
More Negative Thoughts Join the Party – “My boss probably thinks I’m incompetent.”
Past Mistakes Resurface – “Like that time I called my teacher ‘Mom’ in second grade.”
Catastrophic Thinking Kicks In – “I’ll never be successful. Might as well start living in my car.”
The Tornado Strengthens – At this point, the negativity is self-sustaining. Even a compliment from a friend is met with, “They’re just being nice.” However, my friends know me well enough to sense when I’m in a negative mindset and snap me out of it with a dose of blunt realism and not fluff. Like I say, find your “vibe tribe.” But more on that in another article.

How to Successfully Stop the Negativity Tornado

The good news? Just like real tornadoes, negativity spirals can be disrupted. You don’t have to get swept away! Here are some tried-and-true strategies to stop the madness:

1. Acknowledge the Tornado

Step one: Recognize that you’re spinning. Say it out loud if you need to: “Oh great, I’m in a negativity tornado again!” Just identifying the problem helps reduce its power.

2. Question Your Thoughts

Ask yourself: What data do I have to inform me these things are true? Like I tell my clients, no data, no spin! Is this thought 100% true? Usually, the answer is no. Your boss probably isn’t planning your demise over one minor mistake, and Chad’s yacht is probably rented.

3. Distract Yourself

Break the cycle with an activity that forces your brain to focus elsewhere. Exercise, listen to music, call a friend, or even watch a funny video of a dog wearing sunglasses. Just don’t go into an A.D.D rabbit hole of YouTube videos. Not that I would know anything about that. Nope.

4. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is like the kryptonite of negativity. When you start listing things you’re thankful for (your health, a good friend, your career success to date, the fact that tacos exist), it’s harder for negativity to thrive.

5. Reframe the Situation

Turn “I messed up that report” into “I learned something that will help me improve next time.” Instead of “Nothing ever goes right for me,” try “This is a challenge, but I’ve overcome challenges before.” I’m huge on this one. I call it, flip the script. I often work on this with clients, more in my mindset matters series.

6. Take Care of Yourself

Eat something that isn’t processed, move your body, drink water, and get some sleep. Do some mindfulness. A well-rested, well-fed brain is far less likely to overreact to small setbacks.

7. Seek Perspective

Sometimes, you just need an outside opinion. A friend or mentor can remind you that your worst fears are probably exaggerated. But do avoid perspectives from a negative Nancy, so to speak.

The Positive Ripple Effect of Stopping the Tornado

When you stop the negativity tornado, you make space for something much better: a positive, resilient mindset. Here’s what happens when you shift your thinking:

Better Decisions – Instead of reacting emotionally, you think rationally.
More Confidence – You stop doubting yourself over every little thing.
Improved Relationships – You’re not stuck in self-doubt, so you connect with others more easily.
Increased Productivity – Less time spent worrying means more time getting things done.
Greater Happiness – Simply put, you feel lighter and freer.

Final Thoughts

Negativity tornadoes may be powerful, but they’re not unstoppable. The key is catching yourself before you get sucked in too deep. With the right mindset shifts and some practical strategies, you can break free and move toward a happier, more productive life. So, the next time you feel yourself spiraling, take a deep breath, challenge those thoughts, and remind yourself: This tornado is not in control—I am!

Can you benefit from some support and perspective on flipping the script, changing your mindset, and stopping the negativity tornado? Drop me a message and let’s see if my coaching can help!

About Scott Span, MSOD, CSM, ACC: is CEO at Tolero Solutions. As a people strategist, leadership coach, and change and transformation specialist, his work is focused on people. Through his consulting and training work, he supports clients to survive and thrive through change and transition and create people-focused cultures and a great employee experience. Through his coaching work, he supports people willing to dig deeper to identify and overcome what’s holding them back, change behaviors, accelerate performance, and achieve their goals.

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